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BR #8: Email Nationalized

May 28, 2023

(1 minute read)

BREAKING 🤯: USA, China, and 178 countries are nationalizing email 📨

1️⃣ Instead of the global email service, countries will introduce national email services.

2️⃣ You will be able send emails to anyone in your country for only $0.01.

3️⃣ If you want to send email to another country, it will cost you $3.14 per message.

Central Bankers and Ministers of Defence unanimously agreed:

"Having one global free international email service is very dangerous ☠️. Bad people use email to organize terrorist attacks 💣 , launder money 💸, and do some funny business 🤡. We will protect citizens from these bad people by nationalizing email ✊"

Citizens around the world are welcoming the nationalization as a protection of their national identities.

🇷🇺 "Russians deserve to have their own national email. F*ck globalist services." enthusiastically shared a soldier from the Ukrainian battlefield.

🇬🇧 The British (and King Charles III in particular) are also thrilled about the launch of the Royal Email Service!

🇩🇪 Germans are in love with the Deutsche E-Post as they nostalgically remember the good old 1930s growth years.

Speaking of growth, renowned Keynesian economists welcomed this new policy as an ingenious move to grow the GDP:

"In times of economic struggle, we need to make people spend more! Imposing fees on emails will force people to spend and thus we will grow the economy!"

The only group that voiced concerns about the new email fees were business owners.

They fear that the new fees will grow their business costs:

"We are already spending so much on FX conversions 💱 of one national fiat currency into another...if we also pay email fees it will become prohibitively expensive to do business with international partners".

But the central bankers reassured everyone that if any problems arise they can provide endless loans at 0% interest rate.

….What could possibly go wrong...? 🧐

If you sympathize with business owners, you are a Bitcoiner!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Money is changing forever.

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